Wang Sorenson is the central figure in Wangism. His birth–sometime between 699 and 670, depending on which sea shanty is describing his deeds–was hailed as a miracle. Wang was born on Tuvalu and though he traveled the world in his short life, he considered greater Polynesia his home. When Wang was only 12(ish) years old, his parents were murdered in front of him in a dark Polynesian alley. Wang vowed to solve their murder and took to the seas, to put right what once went wrong and hoping each time, that his next port of sail will be the port home. He became known as the shanty-singing pirate of Tuvalu, ritually raiding ships on the high seas. He searched high and low for the man who murdered his parents, but was never able to solve the case.

Yes, Wang Sorenson was really a pirate. However, Wang never stole from the ships or killed any crew or passengers; his only demand was to swap sea shanties to further his vast musical library and to bring entertainment to weary travelers.

Wang’s mother was Ingemodh Sorenson, a Swedish princess. She was rendered infertile by the Great European Earwig Infestation of 693, which is why his birth was hailed as a miracle. Wang’s father was Wang Hop, a Chinese nobleman. He taught his son Middle Chinese so that Wang would be able to read the great works of poetry from his father’s home country. Little is known about Wang’s parents, as they were murdered when he was young.

Wang believed earnestly in loving one’s fellow man and brought this teaching to everyone he met. He was an amiable man who loved jokes, sea shanties, and believed laughter was the way to salvation. Despite having seen the face of evil, Wang believed every person deserves dignity, freedom, and the opportunity for a better life. Due to this belief, he was often at odds with local governments as he was often caught breaking orphans and elderly debtors out of prison. He was also fond of the full pleasures available in life and did not shy away from food, drink, sex, and laughter. Wang believed sexual pleasure was God’s gift to humanity, if God indeed did exist and grace humanity with the gift of pleasure centers in our brains.